Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I'm lost!

I apologize ahead of time for writing in red. I guess it kinda matches my mood, along with black. I have been reading a lot of your blogs and I am so happy for all of you!! I know the strength and courage that it takes to change our diets to become healthy, happy people and sometimes, I ask myself if it's really worth it!! I mean, whats it really going to hurt by eating that double cheeseburger and french fries, anyway? Is anyone besides me really going to know? No, not unless I tell them, right? But, it will hurt, every single day that I add those pounds on, not just physically, but emotionally as well. I eat when I get stressed and even when I'm sad. It's not the fact that I'm eating, It's WHAT I am eating. Michael has been trying to help more and more, like not asking to go out for pizza and stuff, but I know it's not easy on him, either. He doesn't like veggies and likes all the stuff I can't eat! It's so damn frustrating, and I just want to give up! My true friends tell me that they can definitely see a difference in the few pounds I've lost, but I just don't see it. That upsets me and makes me want to go eat something terrible! I just don't know what to do anymore! I got on the scale a day early and of course it wasn't kind. It's my fault, ENTIRELY, but I keep eating the crap I shouldn't be! I think since I've started WW, I've had ONE WEEK of staying entirely on track! That's 4 months of cheating! I just don't know what to do, how to help myself to stop cheating! I don't excercise, either. I mean, I look at my Gazelle every day and think, Yup, gotta get on it! Yeah, I'll do that later. And, later never happens!
Well, I go to the doctor next Wednesday and I've lost just about 20 lbs since my visit in March. I'm sure she'll be happy for me, but I'm not sure I really care.

8 comments:

Calyn said...
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Calyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Calyn said...

I can feel your pain...according to the scale, I have lost 21 lbs. but I still see the fattest me in the mirror. I do not see the loss but others do! And if you want to have that dbl cheeseburger and fries (once a week), just count the points!

When you are stressed or sad (which I hope goes away soon) just try to choose 1or 2 point snacks.

When it is the week before TOM, I know I am going to want salty and sweet all in one sitting... so I have some whole wheat goldfish and 100 cal hostess cakes... that is 2-3 points...not too bad!

As far as "cheating", find ways to lower your points even if you are going out or having a drink... take food with you to supplement what you have at a restaurant or friends/familys house. It helps SO much...

Also find out what your trigger foods are and find lower to ff alternatives. I have only 1 craving left that I cannot find a lower fat/point alternative. Let me know if you need help!

We are here to help with whatever you need to make this a successful journey! And 20 lbs down is better than 20 pounds up! Hang in there ((hugs)

MtngirlinCali said...

20 lbs is quite an accomplishment! To be honest, no matter how small you end up, you will always see imperfections....I think it's the way women are. And understand that nobody is going to help you but yourself--- men in your life included. My hubby eats everything that's bad for me....I just have to stay strong and understand that not eating that stuff will make me live longer. Because it's not just about our instant gratifications or need to look pretty--- losing weight is about our overall health. So give yourself a kick in the pants and stick with it...you've done a fantastic job so far and it's only going to get better!

Candace said...

This is my 15th weigh-in tonight, so I think we started at roughly the same time. I have been trying to follow plan - tracking, tracking, tracking. I'm down 18.2lbs, and I think we're right on track. Yes, it's at the lower end of the 1-2lb range, but so what! My 9yo was upset with me over something and said, "You know, you don't look any different than you did when you started this Weight Watcher thing." I asked her if she knew how heavy a big bag of potatoes was. She said she did. So I told her to imagine walking around with one strapped to her tummy and the other strapped to her bum. How much would you feel like doing with those bags of potatoes hanging off you? Not much? Neither did I and I couldn't even let anyone carry them for me for a while - they were all mine. Now they're gone. Celebrate that!

dizzydazey said...

{{{hugs!!}}}

Losing 20 pounds is nothing to dismiss! That's awesome - own it, girl!! I still have a poor body image, too, but we've gotta find a way to conquer it. It's emotional weight that we've already lost, so why are we still carrying that around all the time?

I think you're doing fabulous! Don't give up - just take babysteps back to being OP!

Good Luck & Have a Great Day!!

x8bmarblesue said...

I have tears in my eyes! Thank you all so much! I really needed to hear what you've said, and I'm hoping I can take it all to heart! I was having a really down day yesterday and I guess I just really needed to vent!

Steph said...

Hang in there - it really does take your brain some time to catch up with your physical reflection! Just keep working at it - one day at a time......you CAN and WILL do this!